What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

If you caught a shoplifter at your yard sale, how would you handle it?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Are there any nude pictures of women with big tits?

TEXT:

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What are the withdrawal symptoms of Klonopin 1mg?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

There was this one weird Bollywood movie that was released in the 2000s. Amitabh Bachchan was starring with another actress and the story was about how the old guy (Amitabh Bachchan) fell in love with the young woman. What is the name of this movie?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Make Nazis afraid again!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why did the Soviet Jews hate the Soviet Union?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!